The 10 Hard Lessons I Learned That Turned My Life Around

Many times in my life, I’ve wished for a magic wand, a fairy god-mother or perhaps for a magic carpet would take me easily through a perfect life.

When my “magic carpet” was ripped out from under my feet by life’s truths or lessons, I was able to create a life for myself that I am proud of and grateful to have. Believe it or not, you can make this happen for yourself too!

This isn’t gonna be pretty, but I want to paint you a picture of where I came from, the hard lessons I learned and the decisions I made that turned my life around.

In my earlier years, I felt like:

  • the world or universe owed me something.
  • my parents should be providing me with more because it was their job, after all.
  • my husband’s job was to make me happy.
  • I deserved more, just because.
  • someone should come to save me from any undesirable situation I was stuck in.
  • I should have gotten paid top dollar to do very little just because I was worth it.
  • when something I owned broke, obviously someone else would need to fix it…whoa…what? Someone else is responsible for me and my things? Really?!

Yeah, I’m not entirely proud of this, but that was how I operated. I think that many people in their younger years can relate to at least a few of these.

If you can relate even a little bit with any of these statements, them I’m sure you can understand what a hard smack on the face it was when I learned that none of these beliefs were true.

Here are the tough lessons I learned that turned my life around and allowed me to create my own success.

  1. No one owes you anything. If you want something, it’s your job to work for it or to get it.
    1. No one is obligated to give you anything or do anything for you. They can choose to do it, but they are not required to. It’s your responsibility to do the work if you want something.
    2. Everyone else has their own “life” going on and are typically busy enough with their own stuff.
  2. You are responsible for yourself – your actions, happiness, physical health, mental health, career, financial situation, etc. You and only you.
  3. Getting what you want takes work – hard work.
    1. Things rarely fall into your lap and this is ok. You will appreciate it so much more when you work for it.
    2. If you want something, set your focus on the end result and take steps every day to work towards that.
  4. Life isn’t all about you. There is give and take and giving without any expectations of a return feels so awesome.
  5. Life isn’t easy. Getting where you want to go may not be a quick, easy route but it is still very worth it. One baby-step at a time, you can get there.
  6. Life isn’t always pretty, but it’s a beautiful ride. Sometimes you will hurt, see cruelty, things that you can’t wrap your head around. It’s important to take a step back to look at all the things that are good and right in your world. It’s very easy to get dragged down into the negative if you constantly listen to the news, social media and all of the other noise out there. Instead, take note of some of the following in your world:
    1. kind people
    2. thoughtful gestures
    3. Individuals who have believed in and supported you
    4. beautiful sunsets
    5. chirping birds
    6. …the world has a lot of beauty to offer if we allow ourselves to come up for air to see it.
  7. No person on this earth is “better than” any other
    1. You’re no better than any other individual out there; this includes the homeless guy on the corner begging for money, the CEO of that company or multi-billionaire on TV. Each individual is human, has physical and emotional scars, have feelings, strengths, talents and unique qualities.
  8. Knowledge is power.
    1. I’m sure you’ve heard the statement “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime”.
    2. Allow yourself to learn to “fish”; to make things happen for yourself.
    3. I educated myself on things I didn’t know, built new skills and made my life the one that I wanted to live.
  9. Life has no guarantees.
    1. Life can be risky and there are never any guarantees, but isn’t that more the reason to give it all you got while you’re here? We only get this one chance!
  10. There Will Always Be Something Else You Could Have
    1. Instead of listing all of the things that you don’t have, sometimes it’s equally important to take inventory of all of the great things you DO have in your life. This includes people, experiences, skills, memories, dreams and possessions. You may be “richer” than you think.

I asked myself an important question: What kind of person do I want to be?

  1. The person who is always waiting on someone else to do things for me?
  2. That friend who does more taking than giving?
  3. An independent, capable person who figures things out for myself?

For me, this was a no-brainer…I wanted to be competent, self-assured and successful, living my life my way.

This single decision changed my life.

You are smart, capable and can do this!

Because of it, I transitioned from someone who felt powerless, trapped and helpless to someone who feels empowered, capable, confident and successful.

You can experience the same change!

Life lessons can be hard; they can blind-side us, but they can also help us to grow and morph into the beautiful butterflies that are waiting to come out of our cocoons.

Life lessons are like speed bumps in our beautiful own little adventure that we each call life. No one’s adventure is perfect. The force us to re-assess how we are living. The best part is that we are not defined by our past.

So I ask you – who do you want to be from this moment forward?

You are capable; you are smart; you can do this.

Please let me know what you think!

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